coffee, Content

Addicted to Coffee!

Every day I aim to improve my performance in all aspects of my life!

I aim to be a better person, be more motivated, supportive, kind, caring and find ways to increase my sex drive, which, being a Scorpio is challenging. All of this I endeavor to do with the help of COFFEE!

Caffeine has been my constant since I was sixteen and my English teacher told me I would be nothing, go nowhere, not be accepted into the higher echelons of society if I didn’t develop a taste for the brown stuff.  That very day my friend and I made ourselves sick drinking coffee in a café near Queen Street station. We flew home with ambition; were inspired and enlightened in the knowledge that, one little cup of liquid could change our lives for the better.

Many times I’ve tried to quit because of the bad press it gets but this resulted in hospitalization on one occasion and imprisonment on another. The first time my headache was so bad that I thought I might have a tumor and desperately tried to convince doctors I was dying.  After intense interrogation they said it was withdrawal and brought me a cup of dreadful machine dregs but it did the trick. The NHS is amazing and we need to appreciate the hard work they do. 

My current ‘dealer’ is Italian Aroma Coffee and no matter what strength or flavor I require they supply with style. There’s now even one which I call on in my darkest days which has such a punch I ran the Glasgow Marathon in 1 hr. 53 mins. It was actually during the night and I couldn’t get to sleep but I still think I should still get a medal.  I’ve emailed the organisers to see what they can do.

Dr David Bradberry states, based on research, ‘coming off caffeine reduces your cognitive performance and has a negative impact on your mood’. I totally agree with this because my ‘negative mood’ resulted in me being incarcerated after rugby tackling a lady in a wheelchair. I was walking towards her and not having had a coffee for at least 4 hours I was overcome by the sight of her chalice filled with steamy, sensual, scented, syrupy liquid.

Next thing I knew I was being restrained by two burly policemen who took me in to cool off. They actually saved my life and I know people complain about the police and the state of police cells but they had just bought some half price Azera from Asda. It was the best thing I’ve ever tasted and drank it all the way through my 200 hours community service in respect to Scotland’s own.

However, Thanks to Mario Telese I’m now back on the hard stuff like never before and my current medication is Sons of Amazon which triggers my adrenaline so fast I can rev up from 0 to100 like a Hell’s Angel on Diesel!

To purchase the spoon in the picture click

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