Loneliness, Uncategorized

Covid Loneliness

In these days of Covid19 and isolation is it dangerous to play hard to get?

Recently I’ve been contacted by characters of interest whom I have previously rejected and I think it’s, either because they are bored, or their other burd has a virus and they have no access because of this unattainability. Should I be kind and pander to this neediness or be my usual sharp, dismissive self?

Is it cool or unkind to pretend to be unavailable?

When you’re trying to attract a man sometimes it’s suggested the best course of action is to be aloof and cool. Well, this game will only be won if the victim already finds you so desirable they will pursue relentlessly, which is usually the way of a narcissist as they go in for the kill, eat you up, then spit you out.

I don’t think men are this complex and actually may feel wounded when rejected. This will be what stops them from asking you again not because you are unattractive or not desirable enough. If you think about it, a certain amount of balls are required to approach us women and it’s still, mainly, men who do the asking.

Erich Fromm thought love was the only sane answer to the issues of human existence and when our main focus is on ourselves in isolation this apartness from others creates an awareness of our inevitable and possible, impending death. He called this affliction “existential loneliness” which makes us feel tiny and insignificant in relation to the universe.

In the current pandemic our homes have become a microcosm of the world and everything, including our feelings, are magnified and can lead to us feeling irrelevant so we start reaching out and our need for connection is far greater than normal. In a world where we can feel ‘at one’ in large groups and sense grief for people we’ve never met it’s maybe even harder to be alone.

The rate of suicide amongst men has never been higher and my feeling is, they are losing their place and sense of worth in the world as women become even more powerful, strong, distant and often cruel. We need to be aware our needs are different; we must choose to be kind and look out for our male friends and family members in these trying times.

The gender who used to be known as ‘The Weaker Sex’ have power and intuition to know the right thing to do, so let’s be strong and proactive in a positively caring way. We are having our day. We are smashing glass ceilings albeit one at pane at a time.  Let’s not forget the sex who are becoming progressively more vulnerable and our domination will be worth nothing if we don’t look out and care for them. We have the natural ability to nurture, care, protect and  intuitively understand.

Let’s not regret using our super powers in this desperate time of enforced solitude! 

Finally, don’t play games be honest but most of all Be Kind!

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If you need advice on coping with isolation Click Here!

 

 

2 thoughts on “Covid Loneliness”

  1. Imagine if the tables were turned. As a man I would be over the fucking moon to be in that situation, to be able to do the rejecting, to have that much attention. I hope you appreciate the male company now because I’m telling, you, you won’t be able to take it as for-granted as is coming across forever. The amount of attention you make it out as getting is going to give many people out there a very hard time trying to sympathise with feelings of loneliness because quite frankly, it comes across as living this rockstar-like lifestyle with an endless supply of groupies, an endless supply of attention. Just imagine if the tables were turned & it was a man who wrote this taking female company that for-granted? I’m only trying to help.

    Bear in mind that there’s lots of people who don’t even have friends. Giving the impression of getting lots and lots of attention is going to give many men a very difficult time sympathising with you. That’s an honest truth. Most men would be too afraid to say what I’ve said because they’re too terrified of disapproval.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for your response and my post was about how I feel about getting the wrong attention from the wrong kind of man. My post is about exactly the points you are making in that women can be cruel and dismissive and it is very hurtful to men. I’m an older woman and my thoughts are about powerful, young women whom I see as quite dismissive and cruel. Not myself. I love alone and my lifestyle is very far from rockstar style.

    This is the crux of my belief…as in the second last paragraph!

    “The rate of suicide amongst men has never been higher and my feeling is, they are losing their place and sense of worth in the world as women become even more powerful, strong, distant and often cruel. We need to be aware our needs are different; we must choose to be kind and look out for our male friends and family members in these trying times.”

    GG

    Like

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