In these days of Covid19 and isolation is it dangerous to play hard to get?
Recently I’ve been contacted by characters of interest whom I have previously rejected and I think it’s, either because they are bored, or their other burd has a virus and they have no access because of this unattainability. Should I be kind and pander to this neediness or be my usual sharp, dismissive self?
Is it cool or unkind to pretend to be unavailable?
When you’re trying to attract a man sometimes it’s suggested the best course of action is to be aloof and cool. Well, this game will only be won if the victim already finds you so desirable they will pursue relentlessly, which is usually the way of a narcissist as they go in for the kill, eat you up, then spit you out.
I don’t think men are this complex and actually may feel wounded when rejected. This will be what stops them from asking you again not because you are unattractive or not desirable enough. If you think about it, a certain amount of balls are required to approach us women and it’s still, mainly, men who do the asking.
Erich Fromm thought love was the only sane answer to the issues of human existence and when our main focus is on ourselves in isolation this apartness from others creates an awareness of our inevitable and possible, impending death. He called this affliction “existential loneliness” which makes us feel tiny and insignificant in relation to the universe.
In the current pandemic our homes have become a microcosm of the world and everything, including our feelings, are magnified and can lead to us feeling irrelevant so we start reaching out and our need for connection is far greater than normal. In a world where we can feel ‘at one’ in large groups and sense grief for people we’ve never met it’s maybe even harder to be alone.
The rate of suicide amongst men has never been higher and my feeling is, they are losing their place and sense of worth in the world as women become even more powerful, strong, distant and often cruel. We need to be aware our needs are different; we must choose to be kind and look out for our male friends and family members in these trying times.
The gender who used to be known as ‘The Weaker Sex’ have power and intuition to know the right thing to do, so let’s be strong and proactive in a positively caring way. We are having our day. We are smashing glass ceilings albeit one at pane at a time. Let’s not forget the sex who are becoming progressively more vulnerable and our domination will be worth nothing if we don’t look out and care for them. We have the natural ability to nurture, care, protect and intuitively understand.
Let’s not regret using our super powers in this desperate time of enforced solitude!
Finally, don’t play games be honest but most of all Be Kind!
If you need advice on coping with isolation Click Here!